My love affair with the idea of traveling abroad has been tarnished July 12, 2010

Summer Reading Update:

Last night I finished ‘Undress Me in the Temple of Heaven‘ by the great Susan Jane Gilman.  A great and yet terrifying story about traveling to Asia.  It is the true story of Susan’s travels with her college friend Claire.  They decide to travel around the world after finishing college, starting with Asia, specifically China.  When I started reading, I immediately thought to myself, “I sure wish Jane and I had done something like this right out of college.”  Then I read a couple more chapters and decided “Thank goodness that Jane and I never did anything like this right out of college.”  China sounds like a horrible place.  Of course one has to remember that the story takes place in 1986.  But still.  I am curious to know what life is like for people who live there, especially now in the era of the internet.  I wonder if they know they are being kept from reading things (see the Google drama).  Do they know that in other countries, one doesn’t immediately get scared when seeing soldiers or government officials?  Do they know that in some countries, no one reads your postcards and letters and decides if you get to send them?  Or do they just not miss what they’ve never had?  I don’t know.

I hate to give too many details about the book away.  I’ll just say that I hope Claire is happy, wherever she may be.  It’s a really great read and I highly recommend it.

Next up is ‘29‘ by Adena Halpern.

Eat Pray Love….Search June 21, 2010

Summer reading update: I finished ‘Eclipse’ on Saturday and started ‘Eat Pray Love’.  I am almost through the Italy portion of the book.  I just read a passage that got me thinking.  Liz and her friend are discussing words.  Meaning, the one word that describes a place or a person.  For example, they decide that the city of Rome’s word is ‘sex’.  New York’s word is ‘achieve’.  Liz’s friend then asks her, ‘What is your word?’  Which of course, immediately made me wonder what my word is.

I am finding myself relating to Liz on a very personal level.  I am the same age now that she was when she began her journey.  Its true that I’ve never been married.  Never bought a house.  Never went through a divorce.  However I have found myself sobbing in the middle of the night looking for answers to questions about my life that no one else can answer but me.  I have found myself begging God for an answer, just like her.  Then again, I think if everyone was honest, we could probably all admit to that.  Liz decides her word is perhaps ‘seek’.

So this brings me to my word.  The first words that came to mind – love, family, friend – are the kind of words that would be nice to claim.  But things are not so simple.  Life is not so neatly wrapped up in happy thoughts.  After some thinking, I realized that my word is ‘search’.

I am forever searching for something.  What exactly, I cannot say.  For a long, long time, I thought that if I could find real love, that would be enough to fulfill me.  Now, finally, I have that.  I have my Smarty – my best friend, the ying to my yang.  The one.  And that part of my life is full.  It brings me great happiness and comfort.  But still I search.

I believe that if I could find a life purpose, that may do it.  I went to college and then grad school and then the business world thinking that if I could be successful there, that would make me happy.  And maybe if I wasn’t in a job I hate, that might help.  But I don’t know.  Other people work there and seem to not be as miserable as I am.  So perhaps it is me and not the work.  That scares me.  I fear sometimes that I will never find my career.  That no job will make me happy.  My dream in life is to live in Key West, own a shop of some kind on Duvall Street and watch the sun set over Mallory Square every night with my Smarty.  Maybe I am searching when the answer is ‘Daisy, you’ve been talking about Key West for 10 years.  Just do it already’.  I don’t know.

Maybe I will feel like my search is over when one day I have a family.  I’m sure that will bring tremendous fulfillment.  But I also know that motherhood alone is not the answer.  I know too many women who seem to lose themselves completely when they become ‘mom’ and that terrifies me.  (I don’t want to end up like those people on ‘STFU Parents’.  Nor do I want to start wearing sweatpants in public.  Or mom jeans.)  I know myself well enough to know that that alone will not be enough for me.  I will always need some kind of work.

My other thought is that I am just overthinking all of this.  People live their lives everyday and I have to guess that the majority of them don’t have the answers either.  Maybe that is the point.  Once you find all the answers, is life then over?  Isn’t the search the interesting part?

Summer Reading June 15, 2010

I love summer reading.  I don’t know if there is anything better than relaxing with a good book.  One of my favorite things to do is take Sadie to the park for a walk, and then lay a blanket under a big tree in front of the small lake, and lay there and read while Sadie chews on a bone.  Here are the books I’ve got on tap for the summer.  I officially started summer reading during Memorial Day weekend, so I’ve finished a couple already.

Already read:
My Fair Lazy by Jen Lancaster.  If you have not discovered Jen yet, may I suggest her blog Jennsylvania to start.  I love the way she thinks and the way she writes and I’m completely convinced that if we met, we would totally become BFFs.  I discovered her one day at Borders.  I was walking around aimlessly and I just happened to see her book Bitter is the New Black.  Anyone who knows me personally knows that this title is perfect for me.  I knew immediately that Jen was my kind of girl.  ‘Bitter’ is still my fave Jen book, but they are all good, so go browse and buy.

The Carrie Diaries by Candace Bushnell.  As I alluded to in an earlier post, I heart Carrie Bradshaw.  This book is Carrie’s story during her senior year of high school.  It was pretty interesting to find out her family history because as much as I can remember, I don’t recall any mention of her parents or siblings on ‘Sex and the City.’  Though I will say, the Carrie in this book doesn’t really remind me much of the Carrie we now know and love.  She’s much more insecure and not yet the fashionista that we know she will be.  But it’s an easy, breezy read so if you’re a SATC fan, you’ll probably like it.

Currently Reading:
Eclipse by Stephenie Meyer.  Yes, I’m a Twi-hard.  Team Edward!  I am re-reading ‘Eclipse’ in anticipation of the movie on June 30.  I read it a couple of years ago and don’t remember a whole lot about the plot, so I need to re-visit this chapter of the story.

Going to Read:
Undress Me in the Temple of Heaven by Susan Jane Gilman.  Susan was another accidental find.  One day in the self-help section (whatever, don’t judge me!), I saw a book entitled Kiss My Tiara.  This was a perfect title for me.  My best girlfriend (I’ll call her Jane) and I used to use this refrain all the time….that we are princesses and [insert name of offending man] can kiss our tiaras.  So, obviously I had to read the book.  It’s all about girl power which I love.  Susan followed up with Hypocrite in a Pouffy White Dress, which is now one of my all time favorite books.  It’s a collection of stories about her life, much different than ‘Tiara’ but still very entertaining.  If you’re female and we are personal friends, you have probably gotten this book as a gift at some point.  So, I’ve been very excited to read ‘Undress Me.’

Eat Pray Love by Elizabeth Gilbert.  Yes, yes, I know, I am a few years late on this one.  But my cousin Lucy read it recently and said it really inspired her.  Any book that can inspire a woman battling leukemia is probably pretty powerful.  And then before ‘SATC 2′, there was a preview for the movie with Julia Roberts.  The movie sounds like my kind of thing – a woman desperately wanting to change her life and get out of a rut, so I thought I should read the book.  I bought it yesterday and will start it as soon as I’m done with ‘Eclipse.’

Best Friends Forever by Jennifer Weiner.  She is a great writer.  She writes books about women so she is often clumped into the genre of ‘chick lit’ but I think in her case, that is kind of unfair.  Her books are just good, period.  And her female characters are strong and interesting.  I think she has a new book coming out soon, but I haven’t read this last one yet.

Mennonite in a Little Black Dress: A Memoir of Going Home by Rhoda Janzen.  This is a story about a woman who goes through some hard times and ends up moving back into her Mennonite parents’ home.  I can’t imagine what kind of culture shock that would be.  I see a huge display of this book every time I walk into Borders.  I am relenting to their advertising campaign and will read it, plus Amazon has it on sale currently for $5.99!

Twenties Girl by Sophie Kinsella.  Sophie Kinsella is the girl who brought us the Confessions of a Shopaholic series and I love her.  Just fun, easy reads and complete chick lit.  But very entertaining, funny and light-hearted, which pretty much defines summer reading to me.  ‘Twenties Girl’ is about a modern day girl who somehow because friends with a flapper girl from the 1920s.  Yes, a flapper ghost girl.

Marcus of Umbria: What an Italian Dog Taught an American Girl about Love by Justine van der Leun.  To be honest, I stole this one from Jen Lancaster’s blog entry yesterday about her summer reading list (which inspired me to come up with a list myself).  I had never heard of the book, so I looked it up on Amazon.  It is about an American who goes to Italy to look for love and instead ends up with a dog.  If there has ever been a more fitting book for me, I do not know what it is.

Heart of the Matter by Emily Giffin.  I’m a big fan of Emily Giffin.  Her book, Something Borrowed, is one of my favorites.  Another smart, funny writer who gets called ‘chick lit’ but is really just a good fiction writer.  Her new book is about a man tempted to cheat on his wife…whether he does, I am not sure.  But the chapters alternate between the wife and the other woman, which sounds pretty interesting to me. 

Oh My Dog by Beth O. Stern.  If you are a fan of Howard Stern, you already know the story of this book.  Beth is his lovely wife who is a huge animal lover and advocate for shelter dogs and cats.  She has written this book as a collection of various experts’ advice on anything you need to know about raising a dog.  Plus, she is giving part of the proceeds to North Shore Animal League, if I remember correctly.  It’s not so much a summer read, more of a book I’ve been wanting to pick up but has been unavailable in every book store for weeks.

Mystic River by Dennis Lehane.  This is my “serious read” of the summer.  I’ve been meaning to read it for a long time.  The movie is great and I suspect the book is as well.  Probably everyone knows what this one is about….a group of friends since childhood.  One of their daughters is murdered.  Who did it?  Well if you saw the movie you know, but I’m interested to read how the story goes straight from Mr. Lehane.

This list might last me the rest of the summer, but I’m a pretty quick reader so we’ll see.  I’ll add more if I run out.  Happy Reading!