I did my volunteer work over the weekend.  The charity gave out over 600 pounds of pet food to those in need.  I’m very proud to be a part of this.  Of course, after the initial rush of people, the girls in charge started going through their papers (anyone who comes in for food has to fill out this form), and found that a lady had gone to the last two distribution events and named different pets and number of pets on each form.  So, either her pets have changed completely in two weeks, or the girls have experienced their first instance of ‘You Try to Do Nice Things, But the General Public Sucks and Will Take Advantage.’  I hope it is the first, but I suspect it is the second.

Today we had an ‘Ice Cream Social’ at work.  This is kind of a fun thing they do for us a couple of times in the summer.  A creepy ice cream man pulls up in the parking lot and we get our pick of treat.  I had a nice chocolate malt.  Since it is 100 degrees outside, we came back in to play local trivia.  I have lived here my entire life and got 7 out of 20 questions.  Sometimes I think either I just don’t pay attention, or I have been kept very much out of the loop when it comes to this city.  I learn new things all the time, about local legends or things that were invented here, or famous restaurants that I have never heard before.

My Sims have been suffering from my laziness.  Sim Smarty has been promoted in his career to Professional Blogger, but I inadvertantly tried to ruin his career last week by having him write a negative review of a movie, resulting in a lifetime ban from the movie theater.  I mean really.  Those creative types are so touchy.  If they wanted a good review, they should have made a better movie.    Sim Daisy is a Division Manager in the business career track.  She needs a new job.  I’m not sure it is fun at all for Sim life to be so close to real life.  I’d rather Sim Daisy be something fun like a painter or a farmer.  She is getting quite good at gardening so I’m thinking that might be the way to go.

On Sunday, I started watching season one of ‘Weeds’ via Netflix instant streaming.  Netflix instantly streaming to my television is a dream come true.  And ‘Weeds’ is so good.  Once I am through the seasons available, I’m going to watch the first seasons of ’Dexter’ and go from there.  It’s a hard decision as a full season of a TV show is quite a commitment.

I think Eminem is amazing.  And I think if this song and video doesn’t prove that he is probably the most brilliant artist of our time, I don’t know what will. 

When I first heard “The Marshall Mathers LP” in 2000, I was drawn to him because he was a 20-something incredible smartass.  Like me.  And I really liked that.  (And yes, I know that was his second CD, I was behind the times, okay?)  I liked that he points out hypocrisy.  I liked that he was willing to say things we are all thinking but won’t say.  I loved that he was funny.  I loved that as angry as he was, you always knew how much he loved his kid. I liked that he made people think and talk about topics that no one was talking about.  I really think he is incredibly smart.  I wonder if he had been born into different circumstances, if he would have become a great fiction writer or poet or something like that.  Then I think, that kind of creativity usually comes out of struggle.  He wouldn’t be who he is without the dad that left, the crazy mom and wacky Kim.

My respect for him comes from how open he is.  I think it is incredibly brave to let millions of strangers into your head.  To just say whatever is on your mind.  To tell people the stories of what you have experienced, no matter how bad.  To share thoughts that are angry, violent, confused.  To admit to things you’ve done or thought about doing, no matter how dark.  How many of us can say we could?  Obviously not many.  I’m not even sure if I could admit these kinds of thoughts to myself.  But if you really think about it, the great artists throughout history, are those who can and are willing to tell us all.

Well fast forward ten years.  I am a more mature, 30-something.  And Eminem is sober and much more of a grown up.  Divorced.  Single dad to not only his daughter, but also Kim’s daughter from another relationship, AND his niece (Kim’s sister’s kid).  He took all of them in.  Plus his little brother.  And he’s clean.  And sharper than ever. 

So that brings us to ‘Love the Way You Lie’.  I think what struck me when I heard it the first time is that is so clear that Em has lived this song.  The lyrics are just brutally honest:

She fucking hates me and I love it, wait
Where you going, I’m leaving you
No you ain’t, come back
We’re running right back
Here we go again, it’s so insane
Cause when it’s going good it’s going great
I’m superman with the wind at his back, she’s Lois Lane
But when it’s bad it’s awful I feel so ashamed, I snapped
Who’s that dude I don’t even know his name
I laid hands on her, I’ll never stoop so low again
I guess I don’t know my own strength

Just gonna stand there and watch me burn
Well that’s alright because I like the way it hurts
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry
Well that’s alright because I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie, I love the way you lie

You ever love somebody so much
You can barely breathe when you’re with ‘em
You meet and neither one of you even know what hit ‘em
Got that warm fuzzy feeling
Yeah them chills used to get ‘em
Now you’re getting fucking sick at lookin at ‘em
You swore you’d never hit ‘em
Never do nothing to hurt ‘em
Now you’re in each others face
Spewing venom in your words when you spit ‘em
You push, pull each other’s hair, scratch, claw
Bit ‘em, throw ‘em down, pin ‘em
So lost in the moments when you’re in them
It’s the craze that the corporate controls you both
So they say it’s best to go your seperate ways
Guess they don’t know you
Cause today, that was yesterday
Yesterday is over, it’s a different day
Silent broken records playing over
But you promised her next time you’ll show restrain

And all that talk about how could Rihanna sing a song about domestic violence?  Well, she’s lived it too, that’s how.  I think it’s really easy for those of us who have been lucky to never be in a relationship like that to understand why people stay.  It’s just not that simple.  I think you always want to believe the best about the person you love, about yourself.  You want to believe everything will get better.  Or maybe you think that you are both so messed up, you deserve each other.  I don’t know.  But that’s what I love about the song.  There’s no ‘message’.  There’s no happy ending.  No resolution really.  There’s no easy answer.  It’s just real.   Both of these people are pretty screwed up.  You want the best for this girl, but deep down you know it ends in flames.  I don’t know of many songs from the perspective of the guy in this situation.  The guy in this song wants to love her, wants to be good.  There’s something in him that can’t stop.  I don’t know if he will.  But I keep listening and watching this video and wondering.

It breaks my heart to think of people having no choice but to turn their beloved pets over to a shelter.  The rescue that I adopted Alice from had a story in their newsletter recently about a dog they had adopted out to a great family a couple of years ago.  Then last year, they lost their jobs in the recession and are now living in their truck.  They had to give their dog back.  Imagine that.  (The government bailout helped who, exactly?)  I mean obviously these people have bigger problems than just the dog, but having to give up the dog on top of everything else, must have been awful.  I think it is hard for non-animal people to understand, that if you love a pet, they are truly your family.  I can’t imagine how hard it would be to have to call Sadie’s rescue and tell them that I just can’t care for her anymore.  It brings a lump to my throat just thinking of it.

So I hope everyone will remember their local rescues and shelters and charities like this.  I know times are hard for everyone and there are many people who need help getting food also.  Of course that is the most important thing.  But pets are important too. 

Not to mention, adopting a pet is cheaper than Obamacare, and all of the studies done have confirmed that people with pets are healthier and live longer. 

There are a few random things I’d like to write about and perhaps get some feedback.

- Yesterday I spent most of the day in bed with a migraine.  I’m afraid the time may have come to – gasp – go to the doctor.  I am getting them less than I used to, however they are becoming worse and stay longer.  Over the counter meds only help if I catch the headache at the very beginning of discomfort.  Yesterday I woke up with that horrible pounding in my head and it was too late.  I took them anyway but I think my body is building a tolerance.  That recommendation on the bottle of Excedrin Migraine to only take 2 per 24 hours went by the wayside long ago.  At the same time, I would like to not be on NSAIDs due to the long term consequences so if anyone has any ‘natural’ remedy ideas, I am all ears.

- Sadie has gotten back into her habit of getting up in the middle of the night.  This originally started when she was first put on her super low fat diet for her pancreatitis.  It just wasn’t filling and she would wake up starving.  Eventually I changed her food and it stopped.  Then last month, her collapsing trachea issue came to light.  The vet put her on a steroid which of course had side effects.  I would wake up in the night and find her wide awake, panting and panting.  Plus steroids increase appetite.  So I would take her outside, she would get a big drink of water, and I’d give her a little food to get her through the rest of the night.  I know, it is probably my fault for starting this again.  But that truly was a health issue for her and she couldn’t help it.  Once this started, I of course got her off the meds and she is doing fine, except that she is back in this habit of waking up.  I know the answer is to just ignore her, but I wish I could photograph her so you could all see what she does.  She will just get up close to my face and stare and stare.  And if I don’t react, she crawls closer to my face.  It is hard to ignore and hard to sleep when this is going on.  It needs to stop and I am not good at tough love.   But tough love it needs to be.

- Allow me to endorse a girly product that I’ve recently discovered.  Last week I had a coupon for Olay Complete Ageless Purifying Mud Lathering Cleanser.  At the risk of sounding like a commercial…this stuff is amazing!  I have been using it for almost a week and my skin looks and feels completely different.  It feels very luxurious while I am using it, and when I am done, my skin is super soft.  And the great thing is that it still feels that way the next morning.  My skin no longer feels oily and gross when I wake up.  Now it feels soft and normal.  Plus I can definitely tell my skin is clearer and my pores slightly smaller.  (I wish Proctor & Gamble was paying me for this but they aren’t)

- Here is a link to a great interview with Matthew Weiner, the creator/writer of ‘Mad Men’:  Fresh Air – NPR  I learned a lot about what is going through Don Draper’s head, not to mention that crazy Betty Draper Francis.

- Project Runway started last night!  And I do not get the decisions made.  Is this:

really worse than this??

I think not.

How could she say no?

They are developing interests such as guitar playing.  Daisy is Smarty’s groupie.

Do you like his outfit?  This is what a guy has to wear to get started as a journalist.  You start out as a paperboy.  So even a 30-something has to dress as a 10 year old.  I don’t know why Daisy is dressed like this.  I find her business attire extremely dull.  I guess her office is casual, however she would prefer to wear fabulous shoes and dresses.

On their days off, they like to go fishing in the ocean.  On their first endeavor, they were both quite successful catching anchovies.  Daisy had hers mounted and it is on the wall of the dining room.  Smarty named his fish and is keeping him as a pet in the fish bowl.

Smarty would like our fellow Sims to be fans of his music, so he went to show off at the park.  As you can see, no one was particularly impressed.  However in his defense, he had only 1 or 2 skill points at this time.

It is only a matter of time before Sims see his brilliance.  We are a total musical couple, as you can see by our dancing skills.

Smarty has worked his way up to Freelance Writer.  Now he gets to wear this to work:

As Smarty says, this is ‘Scoop’ gear.  He looks like he is always on the look out for a good story.  Perhaps he can have a career at WikiLeaks.  He loves his work attire so much that he even wears it while playing a game of catch in the back yard or even gardening.

So there you go.  We are doing well.  Next goals are to become better gardeners and plan that wedding!  If I buy the World Adventures expansion pack, maybe we can honeymoon in Paris.

In other book news, the movie ‘Ramona and Beezus‘ opens today.  The Ramona books by Beverly Cleary were some of my favorites when I was a little girl.  So, when I heard they were making a movie, I thought, well finally.  Then I saw the trailer.  I do not like what they have done to my Ramona.  Part of her charm is that she is the ugly kid, always in trouble.  Now, in the movie, she is the cutest kid in the room (I noticed also looking on Amazon, that as time has gone on, Ramona on the book covers has gotten much cuter through the years).  It changes her character completely.  I loved as a kid that she wasn’t beautiful.  I think as kids (and adults) it can be intimidating when everyone in books and on TV is perfectly lovely.  So it was nice to see good ole Ramona.  Now she is the opposite and I think that is too bad.  Also I think anyone who read the books can agree that there is no way that Ramona’s parents look like John Corbett and Bridget Moynahan.  And don’t get me started on Beezus (Selena Gomez? really?).  The good thing is that maybe kids will be interested in reading the books once they see the movie.

On a completely unrelated topic, yesterday I discovered something that as a shoe lover and shopper, bothered me a little.  There is a pair of Kenneth Cole wedges that I have been eyeing on ShoeMetro for $35.99.  A bargain you say.  Yes, I thought so too.  Until yesterday when I was browsing on Ebay and saw this.  This being ShoeMetro’s Ebay store.  Where I found the same wedges for $24.99.  So yeah, I bought them there instead.  Take that ShoeMetro!  And lesson learned for all of us online shoppers.

Halo/Walking on Sunshine – ‘Glee’ Cast
I can’t put into words the joy I get from ‘Glee’.  I’m a total Gleek.  I love this show because somehow I am always in a better mood at the end of the show than I was when it started.  It just makes me happy.  And this is my favorite song or ‘mash-up’ they’ve ever done.

The Way You Make Me Feel – Michael Jackson
I miss MJ.  After he passed, I found myself listening to MJ all the time and watching his videos.  Somewhere along the way, we all got caught up in the crazy MJ, and completely lost sight of his massive talent.  This song always makes me feel good and well, chair dance a little at work.

Just Dance – Lady Gaga
I know Lady Gaga is not for everyone.  But I dare you not to sing along with this song.

Gives You Hell – All-American Rejects
This is one of the greatest break-up songs ever.  While I am not suffering through a break-up, it’s still fun to turn up really loud in the car and sing along in dedication to whomever broke your heart in the past.

Like a Prayer – Madonna
I am a member of the generation that grew up believing that Madonna is the Queen of All Things.  I love her.  I really love this song.  Okay so I didn’t know what it was actually about until I was in college.  And I’m still not sure I understand the video.  Still, it’s pretty good.  I love the choir at the end.

New Strings – Miranda Lambert
Miranda Lambert is so talented.  I always think that if I had been born with any kind of musical and songwriting ability, I would want to be Miranda Lambert.  ‘New Strings’ is a song that I relate to.  It’s about a girl leaving for a fresh start, and I felt that a lot in my twenties.  Well who am I kidding, I feel that now.  When this song comes on, I find myself singing louder and louder as it goes on.  (Don’t worry, I don’t do this if other people are in the car.)

Same Ol’ Situation – Motley Crue
See, I told you my tastes were wide-ranging.  I love the Crue!  I do!  And this is one of my favorite songs.  Give it a listen and I guarantee you that you will enjoy it.

Shake That – Eminem Feat. Nate Dogg
Okay, Eminem isn’t for everyone either.  I think he’s awesome.  This is a song that I listen to at least three times whenever it comes up on my iPod shuffle.  It makes me want to go out to a club and dance, which I have not done in a long time.  I will tell you that is filthy, so if that kind of thing offends you, this is not for you.  But here is the ‘clean’ version so you can get the general idea (and so I don’t get flagged for offensive language).

Somebody Like You – Keith Urban
You thought it couldn’t get any stranger!  Well here you go.  Keith’s music almost always lifts my mood.  Just a happy, fun song. 

I played for hours on Saturday and then on Sunday.  I made Sim Smarty and Sim Daisy, thinking they could start out living in sin together as girlfriend and boyfriend.  For some reason, that didn’t work.  The game started them off as just roomies so poor Sim Smarty ended up sleeping on the couch.  Smarty is the cook in the family and is learning to tinker and gaining mechanical skills.  Sadly, he started out so badly that he took a hammer to the clogged toilet.  Daisy is a neat perfectionist, so everything stays clean.  Of course, they hired a maid.  Even if your Sims are poor, I highly recommend the maid.  Who wants to spend time making the bed and taking out the trash?  We spend enough time doing that in real life.

As of Saturday night, they were in love.  They flirted and finally smooched, then gazed adoringly at each other.  That much got Smarty back in the bed and off of the couch.  I guess Sim Daisy is easy.  Now, I am happy to announce the upcoming marriage of Smarty and Daisy.  He proposed with a nice diamond ring in their home office.  Then Daisy ran on the treadmill and Smarty went back to his video games.  Well what can you do.  Sims go on about their lives even after life-altering events.  I do not know yet if it will be a public wedding or private.  They will not get married right away.  They both need to concentrate on their careers in business and journalism.  Not that they need to work.  Yesterday I used the cheat code and gave them extra cash.  They really needed to update their home.  Now they have new appliances, a nice TV, a swimming pool and a car.  It’s amazing what a few Simoleons can get you.

I got my highest daily hit total yesterday with my Angel Alice story.  It’s amazing how animals can touch our lives.  Here is a great story for all of you.  There is a dog named Maximus who lives with the elephants at the Houston Zoo.  You can read all about Max here.  In other animal news, it was brought to my attention today that there is a possible ‘partnership’ of sorts between the animal hospital that I have spent lots of money at for Sadie’s care, and a puppy mill that was exposed on the local news last night.  So that’s awesome.  I don’t know how to confirm this information.  I suspect the hospital will not tell me.  But of course if it’s true, the last thing I want to do is support them.  I’ve been contemplating a move to a holistic vet anyway, perhaps this is a sign that I should pursue it.

In other news, congrats to the National League for FINALLY winning an All-Star game!!! 

In today’s edition of “Mel Gibson Really Knows How to Get Ladies in the Mood,” here he is threatening to burn down the house with his girlfriend inside because she had fallen asleep without pleasuring him the night before.  He’s a catch, ladies, and back on the market!  (The audio is completely NSFW, children, or those with virgin ears.)

Also, I’m up to running 30 minutes in my running program.  On Friday, I will have officially completed ’8 Weeks to Train for Your First 5K.’  I’m nowhere near actually running a 5K, though.  A 5K is 3.1 miles, and my short legs and slow running get me to about 2.6 miles in 35 minutes (5 minutes of walking warm up + 30 minute run).  I guess increasing my pace will be my next goal.

Finally, I have become addicted to Chewy Gobstoppers.  I would recommend them, but I won’t because I don’t want to be responsible for anyone else’s addiction.  I think they must have crack as an ingredient because I can’t stop eating them.  Try them if you want, but don’t say I didn’t warn you!

Alice was the first dog I ever had on my own.   I had recently moved to an apartment complex that had the bonus of no pet rent!  Those of you who rent with pets can appreciate how great that is.  So, as soon as I moved in, I started looking for a dog.  I’ve had dogs my whole life – Peanuts, Peppy, Smokey and Bear.  It’s lonely living alone and so I figured a good dog would be the answer.

One day, my mom called me to tell me about a story she had seen in the local newspaper.  There was a rescue featured in an article about November being ‘Adopt a Senior Dog’ month.  I had actually seen the same article on the internet.  I went to the rescue’s website and looked.  That’s where I saw her and read her story.  She was 10 years old.  She had lived her life with a lady who loved her.  Sadly, the lady had been ill for a while and had passed away.  The lady wasn’t married and had no kids.   Her family didn’t want Alice.  (This is crazy to me, I’d never let this happen to a loved one’s pet, but anyway)  So, she ended up at a rescue.  I couldn’t stop looking at her and reading her story.  Some people told me that it was asking for trouble to adopt a dog at 10 years.  But my mom pointed out that all of our dogs had lived to at least 15, so 10 wasn’t so old.  It didn’t really matter anyway what people said.  I knew immediately in my heart that she was meant to be mine.  I emailed the rescue lady the next day and she called me.  I didn’t mention Alice specifically, just told her what I was looking for – an adult dog, able to be home during the day, potty trained, etc.  She said she had the perfect dog for me.  Her name was Alice and she had been at the rescue for six months.  Any doubts I had were erased.  I knew it was fate.

I went to see her at the PetSmart adoption event.  She looked sad.  She came up to sniff me and let me pet her head once or twice.  Then she went and laid down.  It was like she had given up.  I found the lady and told her that I thought I’d take Alice home.  She was so happy, she gave me a huge hug.  “You won’t regret it,” she said.  “She is a really great dog.”  I filled out the papers and paid my fee ($100).  They put a leash on Alice and took her out of that crate.  I swear she knew exactly what that meant.  She began walking outside and walked right to the car.  She knew she was going home.  It was December 12, 2006.

Alice and I bonded immediately.  Those of you who have dogs will understand this….the thing is, even if you have dogs your entire life, there is one, maybe two that are so special to you.  Alice was that dog for me.  She immediately felt at home and I felt as though I had always owned her.  She was pure love and such a good dog.  Maybe it was because she was older.  I don’t know.  I just know that I loved her more than I had ever loved anything.  I told her every day that taking her home that day was the best thing I ever did.  And it was.

As it turned out, Alice was only meant to be mine for a short while.  She had some health issues, she was 10 years old after all.  In September, I noticed that her throat felt a little swollen.  I didn’t think too much of it.  She was fine otherwise.  October was a hard month.  My grandma passed on October 22.  Alice and I went to stay at my mom’s for the week.  That’s when I noticed she wasn’t eating normally.  The next week, I asked my mom to come with us to the vet.  Her lymph nodes were all swollen and I knew in my heart what he was going to tell me.  He did blood work and told me he would call me in 2 days.  Could be an infection.  Could be cancer.

He called me with the news on November 1.  He told me that I should take her to an oncologist.  I didn’t want that.  Alice hated the vet.  The last thing I wanted to do was for her to spend her time always at different vets.  He told me that I could start her on pain meds.  He told me to call him whenever she wasn’t well and he would get me medicine without having to bring her in every time.  She did okay for a week.  Then she had a really bad day.  I thought that was that.  But the next day she seemed a little better.  My mom had told me that when she got bad, we could go stay with her.  Between me, mom, and my stepdad, there would almost always be someone home with her.  So that is what we did.  This was about November 8.  She seemed okay for a while.  But those last few days were bad.  She stopped eating.  And the last night, I came home from work and she was so sick.  My mom told me that it was time.  I knew she was right.  My only comfort was the thought that Alice’s first mom would be waiting for her and they would be together again.

I lost my baby girl on November 20, 2007.  It was simply the worst day of my life.  She is buried at my mom’s house.  I went and sat by her grave and cried and cried.  I had never felt so alone.  I couldn’t understand why I had gotten to have her only for 11 months.  It wasn’t fair.  Now that some time has passed, I am so grateful that I was the one picked to take care of her that last year of her life.  She was truly andangel and the Powers That Be had entrusted her to me.  I don’t regret adopting an older dog.  As I told her over and over on her last day, and every day before, taking her home that day was the best thing I ever did.